Go Un-fuck Yourself

Driving home after a long, exhausting day, I stare at the hippie crystal pendant hanging from my rearview mirror, placed there to serve as a reminder to myself. To remind myself to be wise where I place my priorities… I really ought to look at it more often. I lose sight of the important things when I get busy.

“Take your pick bro.” Tyler said to me as he proudly displayed an armful of these necklaces he made for this event, “There is one there that was made just for you man, it’s special.”

I carefully sorted through the array of the bobbles he made. I dug his energy we became friends the moment we met. Good energy, good people.

“I like this one.” I said, as I pulled one out of the lot. “Ooooh! That’s a cool one! I love the crystal, look at how flawless it is. Yours indeed!” He said excitedly.

I need to hang with Tyler soon.

And the following four days were probably some of the most amazing I’ve had in god-knows-how-long. I decided to start living life in a less stress driven manner. More dialed in with the hippie culture. Peaceful. Altruistic. However, I am Dan. I am wise in the ways of how to “UN-UNFUCK YOURSELF”. There is at least a million and one ways, that I have personally tried and tested. When you’re down in life and need to be uplifted… try to un-fuck yourself. Not un-unfuck yourself… that is counterproductive.

THROW YOURSELF INTO YOUR JOB. (This leads to un-unfucking. Method #987,769)

No better way to achieve a quick morale booster. Go 120%, stay late, come in early. Work hard, learn more about your job than you need to know. Seems legit, a exemplorary employee always does well at work. Don’t forget to forsake friends and family. Yup, this comes with sacrifice. But just think of the accolades you will receive from those you work with. Of course many of them will go behind your back and call you a “kiss up”, “suckass”, “brown-noser”, or my personal favorite, “MEAT MANAGER”. #WORTHIT

Surely this hard work and personal sacrifice will turn into financial gain. And dont fret, the increase in hours worked will also thrust you into a higher tax bracket. Uncle Sam must also be inversely rewarded for your hard work… wait? WTF!?!?

Meanwhile, unbenounced to yourself.. as you hit these targets, rise above these summits, your superiors use these monuments as stepping stones, creating a path to rise to their own success.

Oh yeah! Home cooking becomes a time luxury you no longer have. Off to dining out regularly, leading to less healthy choices in food – I can feel my arteries hardening already. Speaking of higher cholesterol, that reminds me about the added stress of extra hours. No time for R&R. To dampen the stress, you’ll take up drinking and smoking more. You are definitely going to get less sleep than is recommended. I have experienced the pains of a tightening chest several times this year, paired well with numbing of limbs, and the sweats. Fortunately, I have aspirin on hand. ‘Pop em like PEZ’ I always say. I’ve been meaning to speak to a doctor about this, but you know, I’ve just been way too busy to make an appointment. I am sure it’s fine, my internal organs will forgive me later while I work them far beyond their means. Worse comes to worse, there are auto-defibulators all over the jobsite. I’ll be fine.


Always a great idea. Companionship is good for the soul. Even better if you find a broken person. A project. Someone who needs you. Someone who in turn sees your faults and wants to help you.

Now these models always come with baggage that can impact you in a moments notice (*DISCLAIMER: I can’t judge, because I too have a mountain of over stuffed Touristor™️ and Samsonite™️ luggage, tattered and torn, bursting at the seams that I drag everywhere). An ex that they are “over” but isn’t over them (this is usually two sided). That, and abuse issues, trust issues, and “remaining interested” issues, tend to overtake that new relationship feel in a moments notice. I mean let’s face it, every girl says she wants a nice guy, one that treats her right, doesn’t abuse her mentally or verbally. Opens doors. Buys flowers. Compliments her. Is good with her friends and doesn’t hit on them. Doesn’t lie, steal, or cheat. Cooks. Balances checkbooks. Mows the lawn. Fixes things. Loves his mom. Chops lumber, yet saves the forest. Dresses nice. Has good hygiene. Still has all his teeth. Just the right amount of bad boy, mixed with the “boy next door”. All things that just seem nifty in a boyfriend.(YAAAWWNNNNN!)

Yeah, they get bored with that fast. Believe me, the dating pool in our 40’s is teaming with these types… Yes, yes, I know ladies, single guys in their 40’s are probably not any better. But this is being written from my point of view, so go write your own blog! I suppose being in a rocky relationship like that adds a lot of excitement to one’s life.

One could fill in the blanks with damn near any detractor. Television, addiction, Hobbies, projects…The list goes on and becomes quite redundant. Exactly at what point do we realize, when we are not focusing on ourselves, we are more able to direct more energy and lend aid to others, which, ultimately, is way more gratifying. We are more able to lead truly fulfilling and satiable lives. The true purpose of life is found in what we unselfishly contribute. What we give to others we should never expect a reward or compensation from. Ultimately, it comes back to us tenfold, when done with the correct motive.

What about the things in which we seek reward from? Well my friend, that is the clamoring, the distractions, the noise. That noise causes us to lose focus on the beauty of life, the true meaning. True purpose of life, as I see it, is to care for one another. However we choose to protect ourselves first. We become self-seeking, forsaking all others. That is selfish and ugly. Just fucking ugly.

Well, if my toes and fingers yield an accurate count…

that….that is one million and 3 ways to un-unfuck ones life….

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