Sobering reality one.
People really don’t care what you’re doing now. What people know about you what you’ve done in the past. The only things that I can do is continue to try to change me. For that, I need Gods help. I ask him every day. Sometimes moment to moment.
I can promise people that I’m going to change. They need to see the change. You could promise them till your blue in the face. All they have to go on is history. I’ve hurt people. I’ve been selfish. I have reacted irrationally over real emotion. I have dropped out. I have not shown up. Have not answered calls, I’ve not replied to texts. I have straight up lied.
I have lost people… that’s a hard one to swallow.
Doesn’t matter what I say now. It’s important that my actions match my words. Telling people I’m going to get better… I would liken their response to what I told my high school girlfriend, “Sure, I’m willing to wait for sex, but you’re going to have to stop rubbing the outside of my jeans until we get there.” I’m sure you get my point.
I’m not coming out of this is a spiritual Guru. Hell I’m a straight-up shitshow to this day. What matters is making an effort every day to change. Consistency is key. Suit up. Show up. Participate. Be real.
Also, I need to remember, I am doing this for me. I am deserving of this.
My name is Dan, not Mark, not Greg, Dan is a drunk, pardon, addict/alcoholic. Not every day is perfect. Not every day is easy. But each day is a opportunity for growth. I am grateful to be on the top side of terra firma. Welcome to my journey.