Here I Go Again….

Y’all heard me say this before. Journey Of A Thousand Miles begins with the first step. Here is step one.

1. Came to believe we are powerless over (insert everything here) and our lives had become unmanageable.

Holy fucking understatement!

Imagine you’re cruising along. 100 ropes in your hand. Every single one is tugging from every single direction. People passing by, “Hey buddy! Do you need a hand?” All the while, one by one, each rope slowly slipping out of your grasp.

You simply look back try to charm up your most convincing smile, all the while sweat, profusely dripping off your brow, your eyes darting wildly in every direction and four more ropes slipping from your hands, ” Nope I got this, but thanks for the offer.”

“FUCK!”

HI, MY NAME DER-DER-DERRR!

I’m not sure how long I thought I could carry on that masquerade.

It didn’t last long. It wasn’t long before everything I thought I’d built-up came crashing down around me. My ego had gotten away from me. I thought I was being spiritual at moments. I was making it up, I was lying to myself and those around me. I was completely lost and wanted everybody to believe I had it all together. The lies you have to tell other people to get yourself to believe them. It’s insidious. Much like my disease. It snuck up on me I didn’t see it coming, I really knew it was there all along.

The beauty is today I don’t have to lie. I don’t have to remember what lies I told. I can be honest with everyone around me. I can be accountable. Once again I can carry myself like the man I have always been.

My name is Dan, I have came to the idea that I am powerless over people places and things and my life has indeed become and manageable.

Here is my first step. Welcome to my journey.

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